#MyFridayFive, Issue 1.3

My Friday Five

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by – Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt (2002)

And in my case, even those that are self-imposed.

But I’m here now, and look! It’s actually Friday!

So. What’s been going on?

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Not a headline, but something I need to get off my chest.

I struggle with chronic pain.

Sometimes I walk with a cane. This past Monday was no different. I took my fifteen year old twins to the Canada Science and Technology Museum because it was the last day of The Art of the Brick exhibit, and I had yet to see it.

A selection of photos I took are posted to my Instagram, which you can find here: Whovian On A Budget. It was during my first attempt to snap a photo with my phone, keep from dropping my cane, and wrangle my son, who has ADHD and developmental delay; that someone older than me and in discernibly better physical condition suggested that I was in the way and better move, so that she could take a picture of the same sculpture that caught my eye. As we moved through the gallery space, reactions from others to our presence did not improve.

This is goddamn 2018. Do I really have to apologize for being disabled, and for daring to take my son out in public? Yes, I am fat. Maybe it is the cause of my leg and hip trouble; I don’t know, and here’s the thing: you are not one of my doctors. I don’t want to hide at home. Why should I? It’s going to take every remaining ounce of resilience and class I have not to take my cane and shove the tip up the ass of the next person who thinks I’m needlessly taking up space.

Here’s a suggestion for Nathan Sawaya, the magician behind The Art of the Brick: would you be willing to construct a sculpture of a mother and child, or a father and child, to properly acknowledge people who look like me and my son, who enjoy the escapism of a museum and a day out? I believe it’s needed.

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Now, for the headlines:

1) Actor Burt Reynolds Dead At 82 (Various sources)

Reynolds never shied away from poking fun at his foibles and career missteps. I really liked his Emmy-award comedy series “Evening Shade,” which also starred Marilu Henner. Edited to add: Then, as I traipsed through the Twitters, I was reminded he was a lousy husband who beat both of his wives, and not much better as a father. I have no time for that.

2) Inquest Confirms Cranberries Singer Dolores O’Riordan Died From Drowning (Various sources)

A damned shame. Dolores O’Riordan was a brilliant singer and songwriter. It was not her time to go. May you continue to rest in power, Dolores.

3) Girl Hospitalized After Getting Ears Pierced at Claire’s: Doctors Dug Earring Out with ‘Scalpel’

This isn’t the first horror story of an ear piercing gone wrong at a Claire’s store. Claire’s and other inexpensive jewelry stores can’t even guarantee that their products are genuinely hypoallergenic.

The safest place you can go for this sort of thing? A really good tattoo shop. Mark my words.

4) Jet hand dryers ‘aerosolise’ E. coli and other harmful bugs, scientists warn

This, unfortunately, isn’t new news. Nor is it fake. I’m pretty sure this was proven during the “Down and Dirty/Earthquake Survival” episode of MythBusters in the spring of 2013. Paper towels for dry hands!

5) Colin Kaepernick’s Nike Campaign (Various sources)

Dear Nike: Just keep on doing it.

action air balance beach

Photo by Rafael on Pexels.com

#MyFridayFive, Issue 1.2

My Friday Five

1) I should just call this post the Sh*tty Families Edition, because the Markles are running their mouths yet again. I cannot fathom being related to such horrible people.

Go away, Thomas Markle. Put some respectful distance between you and your daughter, and maybe in twenty or thirty years’ time she will send you photos of your grandchildren.

2) Then we have the half-siblings from hell, Samantha and Thomas Jr:

#MyFridayFive, Issue 1.1

My Friday Five

 

1. Kim accused of being ‘desperate for attention’

In other news, water is wet.

Okay, that was a low shot. The gist of the article is that Mrs. West of Calabasas, California, stripped down to her undies for a late-night “baking sesh” and posted it all online, presumably to distract her followers from her homophobia.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing, that the word “sesh” has made it into the English language, or that Kim K. is baking a cake when she could get UberEats or DoorDash to deliver one ready-made. Duncan Hines never struck me as the name of a man that would cross her ladyship’s threshold.

Next!

2. The Wiggles couple reveal their divorce

Emma Watkins, aka Yellow Wiggle, and Lachlan Gillespie, aka Purple Wiggle, confirmed their divorce today after two years of marriage.

To be honest, I haven’t paid much attention to The Wiggles at all in recent years because I have teenagers at home, but their various members over time have always struck me as ridiculously happy people both on-screen and off (and yes, I am aware that Anthony Field, aka Blue Wiggle, has battled mental illness). I was sad when Greg, Murray, and Jeff retired.

“We have embraced this as a very positive change in our relationship. Our incredible friendship has been strengthened throughout this time and what we have discovered is that, more than ever, first and foremost we love and adore performing as Emma and Lachy in The Wiggles and having the privilege of celebrating this happiness with extraordinary families around the world.”

The announcement of their split comes just weeks after Emma revealed to an Australian women’s magazine that she has acute endometriosis. Having had tissue removal surgery myself, in 2011, I wish her nothing but the best going forward health-wise; and peace to both her and Lachy as they finalize the end of their private relationship.

3. Most Canadians Say Irregular Border Crossings Are A ’Crisis,’ Poll Suggests

If there’s anything that sticks in my craw, it’s a misleading headline.

What it should read, is “Most Poll Respondents Say ….” Look, I’m a taxpaying, vote-casting Canadian. I wasn’t contacted by Angus Reid. Neither was anyone else I know.

And the real crisis here is that in 2018, there are still thousands upon thousands of people who are living out the stuff of nightmares on a daily basis, who are seeking a better life in the Western world for themselves and their families. God forbid “friendly Canada” should be so welcoming.

4. Lovato agrees to enter rehab

As a mother, and the mother of a teenager who grew up watching Miley, Demi, and Selena on the Disney Channel; I am relieved to see that Demi Lovato is getting help. Recovery is a continuous, life-long process, and is difficult for the strongest of us. I can’t judge her for “slipping.” Add me to the list of grateful folks that she had friends with her who called 911.

5. Why are people rubbing toothpaste on their breasts?

Short answer: just don’t. Please.

There is no credible medical reason to do it.

Says dermatologist Mona Gohara, M.D.:

“Along with the fact that toothpaste can be an extreme skin irritant, there is also no medical evidence that toothpaste or vaseline or any topical cream can increase collagen or elastin,” she says. “Otherwise, trust me-after baby number two, I would have been wearing Crest all day long.”

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And that’s a wrap for this week’s #MyFridayFive! Leave your comments here or on my Twitter, @girlgonewired.

Douchebaggery and Entitlement (Or, It Must Be Thursday)

timelapse photography off water fountain

Photo by Gabriel Peter on Pexels.com

Tis a week before pay-day, and I’m bored with reading about the Duchy of Sussex’s charm school dropout side of the family. So I decided to catch up on what everyone else has been tweeting about, financially important things you should do before age 35.

I should have saved twice my salary. *Cue a bitter fountain of tears*

I am actually one of the Canadians who can’t even manage to save $500.

It should be easier than it looks. I don’t have student loan debt. I live with someone whose annual income is on-par with mine. But I’m 46, and still have kids at home, teenagers at that, with cell phones and the need for new clothes and groceries. Aye, the groceries.

Never mind the consumer debt. I got out of it once; it was nice. Did I mention the teenagers? Or, despite subscribing to online newsletters about responsible spending and saving, and making the effort, I still can’t quite get there? I do everything online. No cheques. No overdraft protection. Always try to avoid bank fees where possible. Cash only.

I have an 18-month-old granddaughter. I like to help out. The amount spent there isn’t garish by anyone’s standards. If I see a deal on diapers, or a book or a toy that combines fun and learning, I’m on it. She’s been eating what her parents eat, by and large, for a while now, which keeps the spending on baby and toddler food to a minimum.

All this said, I get angry when I hear about grown-ass men who have to be forcibly evicted from their parents’ home, where they contribute nothing, not even civilized conversation. Get a hair cut and get a job, ya damned hippie. Be a decent example to your son.

And then there’s Kevin Federline. Due to his overall irrelevance since 2008, following the nuclear meltdown of his marriage to Britney Spears, he’s had primary custody of their two sons and enjoyed monthly child support to the tune of $20,000. Now he says he needs three times that amount. I smell the smell of a man who’s been using one ex-wife to pay for the children he has with other women, which he should be ashamed of, frankly. Ya, ya. Nobody wants you when you’re down and out, right Kev? Oi! Hair cut! Job! Go get ’em.

It pisses me off when I see the 1% being stupid with their money, and still managing to come out ahead. Damned right I support increased taxation on the wealthy, even though I will never see any of it come back to me in the form of child tax benefits, since I owe the government money for the foreseeable future.

This reminds me to call my son – he’s 21 – and tell him to get on with opening a Registered Retirement Savings Plan. His contribution limit isn’t that steep. I don’t want him to look back at age 35, or even 45 or 65, and wonder where all the years of savings went.

 

The Wedding, A Happy Ending?

Is it too soon to say that everything is coming up Meghan, and literally in the nick of time?

This isn’t to say that her family has completely disappeared from the picture. Her father reportedly had surgery; her odious half-sister may or may not have invented an automobile accident involving a paparazzo; and the ex -in-law and her kids won’t be offering their tuppenny’s worth on Good Morning Britain.

While convention would have allowed Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland to escort her down the aisle, or Meghan to go it alone, Kensington Palace released a statement today that the Prince of Wales, her future father-in-law, will take her arm tomorrow morning.

Prince Charles has attracted his share of controversy over the years, but I could never think of any reason to contradict him as a parent. I think it’s sweet and fitting that he is walking her down the aisle. It is not a secret that he wanted a daughter of his own, and I believe that if a similar situation had arisen with the Duchess of Cambridge, he would have been there for her, too.

So, now that the wedding rehearsal is done and dusted, and things are calming down, I cannot wait to see the dress. And the cake. And hear Harry’s string of names pronounced with an actor’s polish during the vows.

 

Meghan Markle: Wedding Bell Hell?

What bride would want to be in Meghan Markle’s shoes right now?

The latest hiccup, that her ailing father isn’t going to walk her down the aisle at her wedding on Saturday morning, comes as no surprise, mostly because her half-sister Samantha is behind the reason, again.

I don’t understand the need people like Samantha have to keep throwing their weight around, making people miserable. So your sister got an upgrade in the marriage department? What’s that got to do with you? Nothing. I’d suggest looking inwardly, given that your sister has found little to no reason to maintain contact with you for almost a decade or more.

Another sister, an ex -in-law this time, is now in London with her sons for the wedding, but not as invited guests. Apparently, they are going to be “special correspondents” for Good Morning Britain. (Confidential to Meghan: upper-class people have eloped for less. Just saying.)

I suppose it’s too much to hope for that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry will have a peaceful wedding day, and that her family settles down and realizes that it IS all about HER, as it should be. The dress. The ring. The groom. All of it.

 

 

 

A #TBT Post

Okay, I admit it. I skipped lunch.

I fell down the online rabbit hole known as my Gmail account.

The good news is, I think I’ve cleared out everything going back to 2016 2014 that no longer matters.

And, I found this:

Speak Up: Robin Thicke – Lover or Creeper?

Highly pertinent given that today is International Women’s Day, yes?

PS: I still think Robin Thicke is a creeper.

Robin-Thicke-feet

Nope. Still don’t want it.

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